a couple recipes

Hi internets! I'm returning to you with a couple intoxicating (tee hee!) directionless recipes. Hold on to your pants!

Jenna's Drunken Sweet Potatoes
I'm tempted to call these "yams," but I have been informed that technically, yams are not available in North America. But the name has so much more flow. Yam. Jenna's Drunken Yams (see?).

You will need:
-some sweet potatoes (I used a 3 lb bag, but after peeling, may have been 2.5 lbs. You know, if you want to be precise.)
-brown sugar
-maple syrup
-butter
-bottom-shelf bourbon
-also, a crockpot

What you want to do first is commit to bringing a dish to a family Thanksgiving, and then get drunk the night before. Mix a few types of liquor - it's ok, Thanksgiving is a weekend! Stumble home at 11:30pm and find your pre-peeled yams awaiting you from a better, soberer time. Throw them in a crockpot with a sprinkle of brown sugar, half a bottle of good maple syrup, and a glug (or 4) of cheap bourbon. Half a stick of butter doesn't hurt too. Maybe some salt and pepper. Cover, set to low, go to bed.

When you wake up hungover in the morning, the smell of delicious sweet potatoes will coax you out of bed. They kind of fell apart in the crockpot, which is what I was hoping for. About an hour before serving time, I poured remaining liquid from the crockpot into a pot on the stovetop, added about a 1/4 bottle of maple syrup and a couple more splashes of bourbon, and cooked it over medium heat, stirring constantly, until it thickened. (See how professional that sounded?!) Then I drizzled this over the sweet potatoes still in the crockpot. People REALLY seemed to like these. It doesn't make an impressive amount, but they are quite rich, so a little goes a long way.

Geoff's Pre-Twilight Cider Concoction
(This name is still a work in progress. But I think it needs to have "Twilight" in it, because everyone should drink this during Twilight if they want to enjoy the movie.)
You will need:
-2 cinnamon sticks
-1 tsp of allspice berries
-1.5 tsp of whole cloves
-half a cup of brown sugar
-2 quarts of cider
-1 orange, quartered
-still a crockpot, but preferably one that is not a burn hazard

Yeah, this an actual 1970s recipe for hot cider, from a book that came with a possibly-malfunctioning estate sale crockpot. Geoff gets credit for that, though I'm the one who made the cider and tested the performance...and fire hazard. Cook over low for a few hours, until everything in the house smells delicious.

This is where Geoff's genius improvisation comes in:
Mix one part cheap bourbon with two parts cider, and add

a dollop

of vanilla ice cream.

You won't regret it.

Smuggle into Twilight and enjoy!